How to be happy. How to be successful.
An interesting read...
These ‘hows’ are probably the two most sought after ‘hows’ in the world. Just like love, they make the world go around. Everyone, no matter what their age or occupation, wants both. Why? Perhaps the picture perfect life is best achieved by acquiring success and happiness. Success, however, means different things to different people – is there a universal definition of success? While it is a personal thing, we do live in a society that has pegged certain emotional rewards with the acquisition of material goods – ie. We are led to be believe that the more money we have, the more material possessions we own, the more successful we’ll be. But does this necessarily mean that we will be happy? Once we have the basics – shelter, food, fresh water and access to education – can more of the same (to the point of excess) make us happier?
Self help books have been my secret obsession for a long time (err, perhaps not that secret – anyone who has seen my bookshelf will quickly discover the reason I am able to get out of bed in the morning!). As someone a lot funnier than myself articulated recently, there are 2 kinds of self help books. The first kind tells you that you can do anything and second tells you how to cope with low self esteem. I read a review about a new self help book of the first kind called Happier the other day. Happier encourages us to do five things for ultimate happiness:
- Create rituals – the author suggests that we write in a journal each night.
- Every morning when you wake up, write a gratitude list – things you are really grateful for that lighten your heart and amuse you.
- Consider happiness to be the ultimate currency – in my case, rather than writing countless ‘to do lists’, ask yourself what will make you happier.
- Build close relationships – prioritise friends and family. Make it your ultimate goal for others to feel good about themselves.
- Help yourself by helping others. Knowing that the world is bigger than yourself, respond accordingly.
I’d also like to add to the list:
1. setting yourself new and exciting challenges (learning how to cook, learning a new language, etc)…
2. changing things up (download some new music on your ipod, get your hair cut, buy/read a self help book!)
Interesting – where is the mention of success on these ‘how to be happy’ lists? Perhaps success simply means being happy, no matter what you do. The whole success obsession is something I am intrigued by – the idea of success and our relentless pursuit of it does little for us as a human species. I watched a hilarious YouTube clip on this just the other day – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtSE4rglxbY – This guy talks about the idea of success and failure and highlights the fact that you can’t be successful at everything. In fact, every vision of success has an element of loss. What we do need to be aware of is that often, the definition of success is determined by others – your colleagues, your friends, the media, marketers, etc.
He encourages people to be the authors of their our own success and ambitions. Ultimately, we must make sure our ideas of success are clearly our own. At the end of the day, that is all that matters.
I read a column in a Sunday newspaper recently about someone’s reflections about having a great weekend, only to be reminded of their looming Monday morning work schedule – ‘Somehow though, that horrible-end-of-week anxiety manages to creep in. Sundays signal the end of a cycle of time that brings me one step closer to the end of my youth and the sharp realisation that I have to hurry up and make something of myself.’
That sentence made me reflect on what success means to be and this is what I came up with– waking up on Monday morning and being excited about life. Ideally, a little weary after a long weekend – but that can never be a bad thing!
No matter what self help books you come across or self help gurus you meet – their wisdom can be summarised as follows: Have meaningful goals, but enjoy the day to day process of realizing those goals. Appreciation is the key to life. Live it!
On that note, I should go outside and appreciate the beautiful day that is Sunday – only 4 months before my first ever triathlon and I am still yet to polish the cobwebs off the bike in my shed or swim one lap of a 50m pool!
